Fear And Running
by QueenOfTheDiamondDogs
Summary: Maia has been hiding her identity for a very long time. Secretly she is Jaina Solo, the youngest daughter of Leia Organa and Han Solo and one of the last two Jedis.
1. Chapter 1

**Fear And Running**

 **Chapter One**

Flashbacks in _italics_

 _They never knew their true identities until Ben was 5 and Jaina was 3. They had been taken to Naboo._ _It had been the home of their maternal grandmother._ _The young Solo children had no idea about this fact. They had the fact that they were there with their mother and father. This was a rare opportunity._

 _F_ _or as long as they could remember, Ben and Jaina only remembered their parents arguing. They knew their parents were important to others but not to the extent that they truly were._ _They had been brought to some meadows high_ _above_ _the city._ _A normal day-to-day life for the two children consisted of being with_ _their parents. Just being young and carefree._

 _Jaina was young and did not truly understand_ _why they were there_ _on this new planet_ _. Ben knew. He knew that his parents were not truly happy together._ _He had heard them arguing at night._ _Arguing about each other, about him and Jaina, about Uncle Luke, about everything._ _He never expressed his knowledge to his younger sister as he wanted her to remain happy and knowing nothing._

" _Come on Ben!" Jaina shouted as she ran to the top of the hill._ _Lifting her silk skirts as she ran._ _She had seen her parents disappear up the hill and Jaina wanted to be there with them._ _Ben would tease her by saying she was a Daddy's girl. Which she was. She loved her father and was the spitting image of him._ _She would follow him everywhere and demand that he teach her to be a mechanic, to teach her how to fly and to teach her to shoot a blaster._

 _S_ _he had not heard the loud voices but her brother had. The voices were not from arguing but from shouting._ _"_ _Jaina, wait!"_ _Running faster to try and catch her, especially when he heard the distance sounds of blasters._ _But Jaina had reached the top of the hill before he could catch her. She froze and saw the battle down the other side of the hill. Her parents in the midst of it._ _Fighting furiously._ _Something she had never seen. Han was hit in the shoulder and that terrified the youngest Solo._

" _Papa!" She screamed_ _in fear. Not knowing the real danger that she was in._

 _B_ _en reached her side and saw the fighting._ _He was intrigued but also_ _afraid. Halfway up the hill were four burly men running towards them with blasters. "Run!" He grabbed his sister's hand and turned them back down the hill, where their protectors met them_ _seconds later. They were lifted up and carried away from the fighting. Away from the danger._

 _J_ _aina held on tightly to_ _her saviour and looked behind her. She realised the danger she had put her family in by shouting to her Papa. But her Papa was fighting. That night her mother and father explained to her and Ben why they were in such danger. Explaining why they needed to be careful and never leave their protectors._ _That was when their relationship changed with their parents._ _Ben became slightly more withdrawn from them and Jaina remained closer to her father._

* * *

Sat in a gloomy bar on Tatooine was Jaina Solo. Not one person knew who she truly was. Living the life of a smuggler for the past few years. Just like her father had. This was their meeting place whenever they could meet. Jaina was on the run from the First Order. She lay low to avoid being found. For years she had lived an ideal life with her mother, father and brother but a disaster hit the family and they all split from each other. It was the way Jaina lived now. Alone. It was how she liked it. Keeping her head down and out of trouble.

She was sitting at the bar, sipping on her fourth drink in the city port of Mos Espa. The planet was notorious for bandits and smugglers. The perfect hiding place for someone on the run from the First Order. "I'll have the same," the familiar voice sat next to her. "How many have you had, Maia?" Using her fake name.

"This is my fourth." Draining the last of the contents of her drink, gesturing to the barkeep for another. "How long are you here for?"

"Can't stay long." Downing his own drink. "Have you spoken to your mother?"

She shook her head and sipped her fresh drink. "No. Not for two years. They weren't friendly words."

Shouts came from outside, sending everyone in the bar on high alert. "Get out of here." He nudged her towards the door but they were too late. The room was filling with First Order troops demanding for people's identifications. But no one was showing. Tatooine was not a place for the First Order nor the rebels. "Separate."

Jaina nodded and slipped in between everyone, getting herself far away from her father. Her hand on the hilt of her blaster but her hand itched to reach for her other weapon. A weapon that would reveal her true identity. A last resort. She kept to the shadows, hiding behind the tallest creature. A hairy creature. "Hello Chewie," whispering as she hid behind her father's first mate. Ever the protector.

"Rrr," gently growling as he kept her behind him. Shielding her from view.

"I need to get out," whispering to him as she pressed herself against his soft, furry back. She slipped around him, aiming towards the door but her path was blocked. A man in black pushed her back inside.

The man stood tall, his jaw set as he moved into the bar. "We have heard of a rumour of resistance fighters in these parts." He pushed Jaina further into the room. Proceeding to move around, staring at each occupant of the room. His cold stare putting fear into each and every one of them. From where she stood, she could see her father. His eyes never leaving her. She could see the fear in his eyes. She was trapped and if she were discovered, it would be dangerous for her. For him too. "Now, if anyone has any information, step forward and you will be rewarded."

The occupants twitched uneasily. Wanting to say something for a reward but the First Order could double cross. "No rebels dare come here." Someone spoke up from the back. "Too scared to."

A fire shot and the one who spoke fell down dead. All hell broke loose. Shots fired from every direction. Aimed mainly at the troops of the First Order. Jaina, Han and Chewie were among those who shot at the troops. "STOP!" The loud voice of the general boomed across.

Everyone, oddly, froze. Blasters pointed at enemies. "That one there! The girl! She is a rebel!" A female pointed at Jaina.

Jaina froze. Her blaster pointing at a troop. Ready to fire at the next sign of a fight. "She is a liar," speaking through gritted teeth. Her eyes never leaving the troop in front of her, who was also ready to fire at her.

"Kill them all," the man spoke with not a care and turned to leave as the fight began again.

That was it for Jaina. She needed to act now. She holstered the blaster and reached to her left hip. On her left hip sat her most dangerous weapon. A weapon she built and was trained with. Her lightsabre. She released it and stood ready to fight. To protect herself. "No Jaina!" Her father shouted.

The man in black turned at that name and at the noise of the powering up lightsabre. "Ah! I want her alive!"

Jaina wasted no time. With skill and fluid movements, she deflected each shot that came towards her. She cut down every stormtrooper who attacked her with stunners. "Jaina, come on!" Her father shouted at her from the entrance way, shooting any attackers.

She fought hard. She knew she had to leave the planet fast. To avoid him. To avoid the real danger. She shouldered a stormtrooper to the ground and pushed hard to get outside, where there was complete panic. There was fighting everywhere. She sheathed her lightsabre to avoid any more attention brought to her.

A hand slipped around her wrist. She half expected the general to be there but it was her father. "Come on, girl. Where's your ship?"

"Hanger 8." Slipping into the backstreets of Mos Espa, running as fast as they could and stopping as they reached her ship. "Go Father! Leave me. It's too dangerous now."

"I'm not leaving you until you are safe!" Keeping his grip on her wrist.

"No Father. Go! He will be here. It's not safe for either of us." She kissed him on the cheek, wrenched her hand from his grip and ran from him. Running as fast as she could into her ship. Never looking back at the man she called Father. Her fear spurred her on. Her fear was the only thing that kept her alive. Running away from her fear.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Her identity was exposed. She needed to find another safe haven from all rebels and all of the First Order. If no one knows who she was and then she would be safe. "R5, keep an eye out for any other ships." She put the ship on automatic and moved into the back. All her life was on this ship. There was much of it but it was her own. This small ship and R5 had been bought the year before her fugitive state. "R5, set a course for Takodana. I need to see Maz," sighing heavily as she searched for her last bit of food. Tatooine had been her place to replenish her supplies but her quick getaway made it impossible.

Her droid bleeped from his place above the ship.

"I know. We need to see her anyway. She will be willing to trade for some food." Pulling out a snack bar. A food she always left until last as it was a dry substance with small fruits inside. Something she despised. It reminded her of when she was first on the run and it was the only food she could get when she escaped home.

R5 beeped once more.

"Transmission from who?" Climbing back into her seat.

He beeped once more.

"Ugh. Mother? How did she find me? Ignore it, R5. Just get away from this system." Taking control of the flight. "Thank goodness they didn't follow us. Too many people escaping that planet." Sighing heavily and sat back on the large leather chair. This ship was a near wreck when her father acquired it. It was their bonding. They rebuilt it. Making it workable. He taught her how to fly in it. She was an experienced pilot before he taught her to fly her own. They just enjoyed being in each other's company. But all that was in the past. Bad things happened to their family, tearing it apart.

* * *

Takodana was in view. The safe haven for all fugitives, smugglers and pirates. A favourite place for Jaina. Having been born and raised mainly on Coruscant, an entire city covered the planet. No green except for the lights in places. Her father told her of this place just before she went on the run. He told her to go to Maz who would help her with anything.

Soon Takodana became a favourite place for Jaina. A favourite place to hide when she came too close to trouble. "Maia!" Maz exclaimed when she walked into Maz' castle. "Come come."

"Hello Maz." Taking a seat next to the humanoid. "I need food. My supplies are low."

"I heard the problems on Tatooine. Dangerous thing you did." Tapping Jaina's hand with her long finger. "Where is the problem?"

Jaina smiled, "with me at all times. You know that." Leaning back on her chair, relaxing for the first time in a few months.

"I do. Just testing you." Staring at Jaina through her thick lenses. "You have seen your father?"

"I have. We spoke briefly before the trouble began. They were looking for me, Maz. Not me in particular. But a rebel." Bringing her drink to her lips and sipping the liquid. "Can I lay low here for a couple of days?"

"Of course, girl. Take as long as you want. Plenty of business here too." Nodding to a table in the corner. "They have goods that need to get to Naboo."

Jaina's interest was sparked. Naboo was another safe haven for her. "Well, that sounds very good to me." Draining the last of her drink. She was weary of her surroundings and of those who were around her. She had learnt not to trust anyone. Apart from Maz. But it did take Jaina a little while to trust her. Trust issues which started with her family. Her parents separating and her brother abandoning them. But mostly people betraying her to get into the inner circle of the First Order. No wonder she had the problems with strangers.

* * *

Two days after her arrival at Takodana, she approached the party of people who would wanted a way to get to Naboo with their goods. They were untrusting of her. Wondering why she was so eager to help them. She never explained to them who she was but only mentioned that she grew up on the planet, a lie, and the guards knew her, which was the truth. "If you don't believe me, I have room for one passenger." She never broke eye contact when she spoke with them. She wanted them to trust them. Bringing in goods was good money for her. "So? Do we have a deal?"

The company talked for a few minutes and one of them stuck their hand out towards Jaina. "It's a deal. You will have me on your trip." The male human spoke up, the one who shook her hand.

"I'll be glad of the company. My R5 is good company but not good for conversation." Smiling sweetly at him, trying to soften him and get into his good books. She needed the money. "We will leave in two hours. Maz owes me supplies."

"Good." Shaking her hand once more and leaving her alone.

Maz moved and sat with her. "Well done. They are a hard company to make a deal with."

"Well I used my charms."

"Just like your father." Maz winked at her. "I suggest you get off this planet fast. It won't take the First Order long to realise that you will be here."

Jaina crossed her legs. "I know. They are probably already here."

"Food packages have been placed at the dock. Ready for you and your guest." She rested her hand over Jaina's. "Be careful. There are dark times ahead for you. Be strong, girl."

* * *

Jaina was joined by Golu Dinoa. He was an older man who had a long history of smuggling. He was a kind man with a face full of scars from fighting. Her ship was loaded up and they were ready to go. "Everything in place, R5?" The droid beeped in response. "Right, let's go." Slipping into the pilot seat with Golu sitting in the co-pilot seat. "Can you fly?"

"I can." He gave her a smile. The scars on his face softened when he smiled. Giving him a less of a scary face.

Shutting the ramp, they were off. Flying away from the lush green planet. She was silent for a moment as they jumped into hyperspace. "There we go." Sitting back as her small ship sped through space. "Relax. We will reach the Naboo system soon."

"How can I relax when I am in the presence of a Jedi?"

Jaina had been rising up from her seat and froze at his question. Returning to her seat, her eyes never leaving him. "How do you know?"

"Not very good at hiding your weapon." Looking down at her left hip, where her lightsaber was sitting. "It's all right. I'm not with the First Order. Not with the resistance either. But I will keep your secret. As long as you tell me your real name. I am guessing that Maia isn't your true name."

She looked out of the window and sighed heavily. "No. It isn't. But I do not want to tell you my real name. It is dangerous for me. Definitely dangerous for you. If the First Order capture you will give them information about me. I cannot risk that."

Dolu nodded. "Fine. But your father owes me money."

"My father is dead." A lie she had been using for years.

"No he isn't. Your father is the crook, Han Solo. So your fee has been halved because of the amount he owes me."

Jaina gritted her teeth. "You are on my ship. You will pay me the full price or I will send your goods out in the escape pod. That is where they are stored. You cannot get into it as the door can only open with my genetics." She gave a small smirk. "The same with controlling the ship. You can fly it but only with my genetic permission."

This annoyed Dolu but ultimately he knew he had to agree with her. She may have been young but she was a Jedi and she was a better fighter than he was. "Fine. We do this your way. You will get the whole payment but only when we get through the security barriers and the goods are passed on."

She nodded. Her console bleeped. "We are approaching the system." She tapped the buttons and pulled her ship out of hyperspace. The system came into view with the planet of Naboo ahead of them. Jaina smiled as they approached the planet. She loved the travelling that came with her smuggling. She was able to visit places that she had never been to or to places that she had not been to for a very long time. Naboo was one of those places. It had been a planet that she visited frequently when she was a child.

"Identify your craft, your name and business." A voice came through the speaker.

Jaina took a deep breath. "This is the Luna. This is Maia Lando with cargo." She gave a small lie to be able to land.

"Yes Ma'am. Dock Two"

Dolu smirked at her. "Do you have a plan?"

"I don't. I just make it up as I go along." She commandeered her ship towards Dock Two.

R5 bleeped from behind them.

"Yes I do. Every time." Calling over her shoulder at her droid and bringing the ship to land. "Let me do the talking." Removing herself from her seat and to the ramp of her ship.

* * *

Her job was done and she was paid. The joy of being on Naboo was the freedom she had. She could relax without having to worry about being captured or being killed. She sat in one of the high meadows and looked down at the sparkling blue water. Peace. This was a favourite place for her to meditate.

No one was around. Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and cleared her mind. Trying not to focus on anything. Something was wrong. She couldn't focus. This was not right. Getting to her feet, Jaina took a look around. Nothing was there. No one was there. A terrible pain in her stomach and heart hit her suddenly. So painful, she fell to her knees and wept. She knew. She knew. "Papa," gasping out loud. He was dead. Killed. Pulling herself to her feet. She needed to get off the planet. To find out the truth. Of course it was true. She felt it.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she ran down the meadow to find her way to her ship. To get to where she needed to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

 **A/N: Wanted to get this chapter out sooner than planned in remembrance of Carrie Fisher.**

 _She and Ben had been in a fight. He would tease her that he was more powerful than her. Which upset her a lot because she was trying hard to be like him. There was nothing that her mother and Uncle Luke could do could calm her down. She was only 9 and Ben was 11 when this happened. She escaped her mother's comforting arms because Ben was in her head and teasing her more. Calling her a Mother's baby. She ran through their home in Coruscant to the hangers, where her father kept the Millennium Falcon. A place she loved to hide from Ben because he never came here. Ben and their father had a rocky relationship recently._

 _The Falcon was her father's pride and joy. Only until her and Ben came along. She ran up the ramp noisily. Her feet pounding on the metal flooring, her sobs echoed around the ship. She ran through until she reached the cockpit. Slipping into her father's seat, she sat there and stared at all the controls. She wished to be able to fly the ship but her father had forbidden it._

 _But she liked pretending. She would sit in her father's seat for hours and pretend to be him. She wanted to be him. To have his adventures. To be brave like him. To be a pilot like him._

" _What are you doing in here?" The soft voice of her father came from behind her. He always knew where she was and he always seemed to know when she was upset._

" _Hiding from Ben." She slumped in the chair, refusing to look at him. "He was teasing me." She climbed from his seat and sat in Chewbacca's seat. It was normal to give up the seat if her father was there. It was his seat after all. "He said I wasn't powerful like him. Just because Uncle Luke is training him more than me."_

 _Her father sat in his seat and gave her that famous lop-sided smile. "You are not your brother. You are you. No one can take that from you. Not even your brother. Jaina, don't let him get to you."_

 _She gave an angry huff. "But Dad! He just gets on my nerves!" Folding her arms in her temper. "He teases me with everything."_

" _Well, I can tell you two things you are definitely better at than Ben is."_

 _She sat up straight, curious. She would use this against Ben in their next argument. "What?"_

" _You are a better pilot than him. You are a better mechanic than him." He reached over and held her hand. "You are a determined girl, Jaina. You love being in a ship and you want to be something that you want to be." He sat up straight. "Come on. I've spoken with your mother. Time to fly." Jaina's smile broadened and moved from her seat to sit on his lap. She loved it when he had her fly the Millennium Falcon with her in his lap. She was in control but he was always there just in case._

* * *

She flew with tears in her eyes. The pain had been sitting on her heart for a moment until she was in the air, flying to D'Qar. She knew her mother would be there. No matter what she needed at that moment, she needed to be with her mother. To comfort her and be comforted. No matter what had happened between them. This moment Jaina needed her mother. More than anything.

R5 remained silent as she sobbed at the helm, landing in a landing bay on D'Qar. "Fill her up," she ordered someone as she ran out of her ship, ignoring the calls she was getting from those around her. A strong pair of hands grabbed her by the forearms pulling her to a stop. "Let go of me!" She said through angry tears, attempting to force the person's hands off her.

"Not until you tell me who you are." He was a tall man and wore a pilot's uniform.

"Please! I need to see the General. Please." She was nearly on her knees begging but the need to see her mother was too great.

"No one sees the General. Her husband has just died."

"I know!" Jaina shouted at him. "That's why I am here. Please! I need to see her. Please," the last word a whisper. Her tears fell down her cheeks. "Please."

He studied her for a moment and had a feeling that he believed her. "Fine. I will escort you to her." Releasing her from his grip and guiding her inside.

* * *

"Wait here," he ordered her.

She could feel her mother's presence. It was close. She was sad. "Oh mother," whispering to herself when she laid eyes on the woman she loved dearly but would argue with her relentlessly when she was growing up. She kept herself hidden in the shadows. Afraid to be recognised. Just in case. Still afraid. She would always be afraid.

She watched as her mother spoke to the man, who remained behind as Leia approached her youngest child. Neither said a word as Leia led her daughter out of the room and into her private rooms. Needing to keep Jaina's identity a secret. Once the door was closed tight, Jaina went into her mother's arms in floods of tears. Her sobs filled the room. Leia never let go of her. She comforted her and shed her own silent tears.

* * *

Jaina calmed after a while. The two women sat together, holding each other's hands. Not wanting to let go on the fear that the tears may start again. "Did you see him before it happened?"

"I did. When did you last see him?"

"A few days ago." Getting to her feet and walking to a desk. "On Tatooine. We meet up every so often. We used to, I mean. It was his decision, not mine. He said I

Leia watched her daughter reading whatever was on the desk. It wasn't very important. "Jaina..."

"Was it Ben?" Cutting off her mother. "Did Ben do it? I know he did. I felt his anger, confusion and hate at the time. I just need to hear you say it."

"Yes. He did. Chewie told me but I felt it too."

Jaina gritted her teeth to remain calm. "Did you find Uncle Luke?" Changing the subject to keep her anger at bay.

"We have located him. He has been sent for. Chewie and Artoo have gone with another pilot."

"I can't see him. But I need to stay. I just don't want to see him. I need to keep busy or I will do something stupid." She turned to her mother. "Is there anything you can do for me?"

"We need pilots. You still remember how to fly an X-Wing?"

"Of course I can." Walking back to the long sofa that they had been sitting on and sat a little further away from her mother. "I need to keep my cover. It is for the safety of everyone. Particularly here."

"Of course, Maia." Her mother smiled as she used her alias. She understood the magnitude of her daughter's secret.

"So? What are my orders, General?"

Leia stood and Jaina followed suit. "I will take you to the squadron leader of the X-Wing fighters I would like you to join. Though I do believe you have already met him."

"Oh him!" Jaina rolled her eyes, remembering him and his small interrogation from when she arrived. "Fine. Let me meet him properly."

* * *

"Poe?" Leia called when they entered the main hanger.

Men were crowding around Jaina's ship, making her uneasy. "Oi! Get away from my ship," she shouted at them. The men eyed her carefully and stepped away from the ship.

One, who was examining the ship, had been Poe, who now approached the two women. "General?"

"This is Maia Lando. She is to be one of your new recruits. On my request. I have known her since she was a girl. A very good pilot. Could even give you a run for your money." Leia gave him a small smile. "Miss Lando, you will have to move your ship as this is a busy hanger."

"Yes General." She nodded, watching her mother walk away from them both. "Where can I put my ship?"

Poe had not stop studying her. He always took his time to trust someone. This woman seemed to be hiding something from him and possibly from the General also. "There is space in the fifth hanger down from this one. I'll show you and then you can show me how well you can fly an X-Wing."

"You will be surprised." Walking towards her beloved ship.

* * *

They stepped onto her ship and he was immediately confronted by Jaina's droid. "R5, leave him alone!"

"You have your own droid?" Looking down at the red droid, who stopped him from moving any further.

"I inherited him from father. R5, leave him alone. He's my new boss. Sort of." Giving her droid a push, who was determined to protect his mistress. "R5, that is enough!" Pushing him harder when he threatened Poe. "He's been rather protective lately."

Poe manoeuvred around the droid, following Jaina to the pilot's cockpit. Avoiding anything that came his way from the droid. "I can see that." Keeping his eyes on her but being weary of the overprotective droid. He took in what he saw around him and saw a lot of goods. "Ah! A smuggler. No wonder the General brought you in."

Jaina became defensive, "what is that supposed to mean?"

"Woah! Don't worry. It is not a judgement." Holding his hands up in defence. "From the General's knowledge, I have learnt that smugglers are very good pilots."

Jaina jumped into her seat and turned on her ship. "Okay. I believe you but please don't judge me. I have to do this because of the First Order and everything. So please, keep your comments and questions to yourself."

"As long as it doesn't interfere with the Resistance."

"I cannot make such a promise but I will fight hard for the Resistance. That I can promise you." Using her skills, she pushed the ship into flight and moved out into the sunlight.

Poe watched her with fascination. He watched as she gently flew the ship out of its current place and into the new hanger. He watched her take the controls with ease and how she seemed to be at one with the ship. "You are good."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes as the ship came to a stop. "You haven't seen anything yet." Hitting the switches that stopped the engines and turned to face him with a stern look on her face. A determined look on her features. "I want to make this clear: no one is to set foot on this ship without my permission. Understood?"

"I understand. No one comes on here." Not taking his eyes off her, still wondering about her. Still thinking as to why the General was so eager to recruit her. "Come. I'll take you to your new ship."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

When she was taken to the X-Wing fighters, her heart stopped. These were her favourite ships to fly. They were one of her last ships that she learnt to fly and fight in. Her mother had said so because they were fast. That's what her mother had said. But that made Jaina want to fly them more. "So what is my task?" She asked her new squadron leader just as he handed her a helmet.

"Just need to see your skills." Leading her towards the X-Wings. "I will fly alongside you."

The two of them climbed into their respective fighters. Jaina felt very much at home as she sat in the cockpit. Closing the hatch above her and strapping herself in. She knew what every button and lever did. She did not forget any detail. This was home to her. "So, what is your callsign when flying?" She asked Poe over the intercom.

"Black Leader. You can be Maia for now and just call me Poe for now. We will use our callsigns when we are in battle. Right let's go. Just follow me." They pulled off. She followed him carefully, waiting for further instructions. The joy being in the ship was unbelievable for her. This was euphoria for her. "Right, I want to see your skills. There will be a few other pilots out and I want you to be able to dodge them as they fly at you."

"Bring it on." She said with glee and readied herself for the oncoming task. She calmed herself and cleared her mind. Awaiting for the approaching fighters. She could hear them. They were coming from behind her. Pulling up the ship and twisting it back around to be behind the other fighters. It was so unexpected that the others in the ships were confused for a moment as to what she was doing. The experience became like a child's game of hide and seek but with X-Wing fighters. They were up in the air for over half an hour before Poe instructed them all to land again.

She could see them talking as she climbed out of her X-Wing. The men seemed very enthusiastic but Poe Dameron showed no emotion at all as he spoke. She leant against the ladder and waited. Waiting for his opinion on her flying skills and if she was good enough to be on his squadron. She knew he had no choice but she would have preferred to get on the squadron for her skills and not on the say so of the General.

Jaina studied him as he spoke to the other pilots. They didn't seem to treat him as a leader on the ground. She could see how he treated them and how they acted around him. They seemed to respect him but they were also good friends with him. He treated them as equals and from the looks of it, he valued their opinion. Occasionally one of them would look at her as they spoke. They were calculating her. Judging her. She could tell. Just from watching their mannerisms.

The discussion between the men in the squadron only lasted five minutes and Poe approached her. His helmet in his left hand. "Well, I have spoken to the others and they are impressed with your skills. So am I." Holding his hand out to her. "Welcome to the Resistance."

She took his hand firmly and shook it. "Thank you."

* * *

 _Training with her Uncle Luke was becoming more and more difficult. Ben seemed to find them easier and he was getting more lessons from Luke than she was. But the lack of extra lessons for her meant more time reading about mechanics and piloting. She could always be found in the library, reading._

 _It was a small library with very few books. Her Uncle Luke was slowly building up the library for the Jedi school. The archives for every system was up-to-date but the knowledge libraries were not complete. "Always reading," spoke her mother from behind her._

" _Mother!" She exclaimed, throwing her book aside and rushing to Leia's open arms. "I didn't know you were coming."_

" _It's a surprise." Keeping her arms around her daughter. It had been months since they last saw each other. "Your Uncle Luke has said that you have been very quiet and distant from your studies."_

 _Jaina shrugged her shoulders when they sat on the couch together. "I just cannot seem to focus. No matter what I do. All I want to do is mechanics." Lifting the book she had been reading. 'Advanced mechanics of all fighters.' "It's all I think about."_

 _Her mother smiled. "Well, that's why I am here. Your Uncle Luke is happy to release you from Jedi training for a year to be with your father and he will teach you what you want."_

" _I can come home?"_

" _Yes. You can come home."_

" _Oh mother! Thank you!" Nearly leaping across the sofa to embrace her mother. "Thank you!"_

 _Leia could not help but laugh when Jaina hugged her again. "Do not worry. You are not to be idle for the year. You will do as your father asks you and then return to your Uncle Luke to continue your training."_

 _Jaina parted from her mother with a large smile. A smile that seemed plastered on her face. "Yes mother. I promise."_

* * *

For two weeks, Jaina had been living with her fellow sqaudron members and had developed a great relationship with them all. Even Poe. They had been weary of each other due to their first encounter when she arrived on D'Qar. But their friendship grew. Everyone had noticed. Leia had noticed especially. She summoned them to the council session. "We have a mission for you both on Coruscant," she explained. "We have belief that a member of the First Order is gathering followers from the slums. Well, getting followers in exchange for food, credit and mainly power. You two are to go undercover and search out the member. Just find out who it is and then report back to us."

"Why us?" Poe questioned. "I can understand myself but Maia is new."

"Maia grew up on Coruscant and I believe has a number of connections on the planet."

"It's true," confirmed Maia. "I have a few contacts there. A few, I know, who won't betray us."

Poe took in the idea of working with her. He did trust her but not fully. She was very secretive when it came to her past. Avoiding any question he asked about her family, her past life and more importantly her connection to General Organa. How the General seemed to let her into the squadron from the moment she entered the base. How the General trusted her enough to go on a special mission with him, with no experience in the field of being undercover. "When do we leave?"

"Tonight. You will take Maia's personal ship. Will it get you into Coruscant, Maia?"

"If I have cargo, yes." She folded her arms and nodded. Her eyes never leaving his. "I can do this, Poe. Trust me." He said nothing. He only nodded in agreement. "I need to have some sort of cargo to get into Coruscant," said Maia.

He nodded and left the place. A little untrusting of Jaina. He noticed that General Organa moved to Jaina, taking her hand in her own. Both of them whispering to each other.

"Be careful, Maia. Get out of there if you need to. Don't risk your life and Poe's life for information."

"Yes General," speaking softly. "I'll come home. I promise." Bowing her head slightly before leaving. "Come on R5." Her droid followed her obediently.

* * *

The ship was packed and they were preparing to go. Something had been playing on Jaina's mind for some time. "When did they leave to find Luke Skywalker?" Asking Poe in the hope that he knew the answer.

"A few days ago." He placed his bag in a small compartment, which was empty except for dust. "Why do you ask?"

"Why do you think? He's a legend. I always thought he was a myth." She was repeating words she had heard since she went into hiding. This was early days when she was asking questions about her family to see if she could get any news of them. It had been to give her peace of mind. But she never received that peace of mind, so she stopped asking. Stopped caring. That turned her into a smuggler. To a life of only caring about herself.

But now, she had to care about herself second. She had others around her to care for. To look out for. Being part of the squadron gave her a new sense of life. One she had not had in a very long time.

"According to the General, he is not a myth. He is her brother."

"Really?" She smiled as if she were filled with curiosity at learning about the General.

"Didn't you know that? You've known her since you were a child."

"She never mentioned him." Shrugging her shoulders and climbing into the pilot's seat. "R5, is everything ready?" She flicked the switches and hit the buttons. "I don't believe it!" She growled. "Someone has been in here!" Looking at a small screen next to her, which gave any details of someone being inside the ship and someone touching the controls. "I told them!" Growling in anger.

"How do you know?" Taking his seat next to her in the co-pilot's seat.

"The controls are genetic. Only I can control this ship. It logs when someone has opened up the door, when someone touches the controls. It logs when someone bloody sneezes in here." She switched the ship on and closed the door from where she was. "Ready?"

He could feel the anger radiating from her. "Ready." He wasn't going to give her any more reason to radiate her anger at him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The anger in Jaina seemed to simmer out as they began their long journey to Coruscant. She noticed Poe being cautious around her. Not speaking unless she spoke first. Which was a rare occasion. When she spoke she never spoke about herself. She was curious about him. Asking about his family, his past and his current place in the resistance. "The General saw something in me and offered me a position in the Resistance. How could I refuse? To work alongside such brave fighters under the command of the great General Organa? How could I not?"

She gave him a smile as she pulled into the port. "I have a place for us to stay but they only had one room left. We need this place. It's a good place to watch where we need to watch for the suspect. It is a local haunt for him, apparently."

He seemed to be slightly embarrassed by this but said nothing about it. "I will unload the cargo."

"No, leave it." Jumping out of her seat. "R5 will sort it out. No one would dare argue with him."

Poe could not help but laugh. "I would not want to argue with him either." Looking to the droid, who stood at the exit as if on guard of the ship and its mistress. "Lead the way."

* * *

Their room was not the best for comfort but it was the best for watching their target. It was on the second floor of a small dwelling which was opposite a club, which seemed to be run by a gang of unknown name and origin. They had been on the planet a total of two days and had not found out much apart from that their target would be at the club. It was boring but it was how it was going to be until they knew for sure that their target was who they needed to watch.

"This is ridiculous," groaned Jaina as she sat on the only bed in the room, having stared out of the window for an hour. "Let's go eat. Being cooped up in here is driving me insane."

He laughed. He couldn't help but laugh. She had slowly become more open with him. Not always about her past but about her personality came out in the open more. He noticed she loved to laugh but when she was watching for their target, she never moved from her spot. "I agree. We won't get anywhere sitting here all day."

Jaina gave a small smile along with a nod. "I know a place. Good food. Not sure about the company there but we will be hidden. I need you to be dressed in your least appealing clothing. The poorer you look, the better." She pulled out a black leather from her bag and pulled it on. "Takes away the focus on you." Turning her back on him, giving him privacy to change and giving her a chance to slip her secret weapon into her jacket. Making sure he did not see. Concealing her true identity from him. It was for the best. For her and more importantly for him. She did not want a death on her hands that was caused by her.

* * *

Cautiously, they left their place of residence without drawing too much attention to themselves. The lower levels of Coruscant were reserved for the poor and needy. The people around them were desperate and would not think twice about attacking someone with money. They would not think twice about attacking anyone. That was their desperation. Their desperation to live.

Jaina and Poe weaved in and out of the bustle of people. Poe followed her more than walked with her. She led the way. He noticed that she knew the way and never hesitated as she walked. She had confidence with her sense of direction and that he had faith in her. "We're here." Slipping inside a rundown diner. It looked rundown on the outside but inside it was bustling. "Come on." Tugging his sleeve and pulling him into an empty booth. "This place has the best food on the planet." She was wary of who was around. Her eyes looking at each individual that she could see in her eyeline. "Two Jawa Juices and two Dex's Doubles, please." Ordering from the waitressing droid, who had approached their table.

"Tex! The girl is here!" The droid called behind to the counter, where a large Besalisk stood.

"Maia!" He called cheerfully. "Come here. Got a bum leg. Have to stay seated."

Jaina smiled broadly. "I won't be long," muttering to Poe. "Don't move from here. This is a good table." Poe did not take his eyes off her as she left him alone to speak with Tex. The two of them spoke in hushed tones. So hushed that he had no idea what they were saying but it was serious. Tex nodded, occasionally looked over at him and had a stern expression on him as they spoke. As he studied them, he noticed an object in her coat. It was shaped like a bomb. A very thin bomb. She did not seem the radical type to set off explosions.

When she returned he said nothing about the strange object in her jacket. But he watched her every movement. Every little movement. Trying to decipher what she was going to do next. If she was going to do something. "Been here before?"

She smiled at him. "Yes. I used to be a regular here. Tex is the grandson of the last owner, an old family friend. Something like that. I don't know the details but I know he is an old family friend. He's had trouble with the First Order. They come in a lot. So we need to be careful." Nodding to the waitressing droid, who brought them their food.

"There seem to be a lot of different characters in here."

Jaina nodded. "There is. This place was destroyed many years ago and went underground. When the Empire was destroyed, it came out of hiding. But there were a lot of poor around. So Tex started a movement. Where anyone, who has currency, can pay in anyway they can. If they have none, they still get fed. I've have always paid and put a little extra in for someone who can't pay. But sometimes it causes fights especially if they know you have enough to pay for others." She gave one smile and dug into her delicious food.

* * *

But as they sat, ate and talked, they were being watched. They had not noticed this person watching them. He watched as the pair laugh and enjoyed themselves. Relaxing from their real reason for being on the planet.

"I swear to you! That's what happened!" Jaina laughed when he shook his head in disbelief.

"So, let me get this straight?" He put down his second cup of Jawa Juice and pointed at her. "You disguised yourself as a boy and stole your current ship from Soontir Fel?"

"Yeah. I grew up with his son, Jagged. It was so funny when he realised who I was." She laughed a little louder. "His face was a picture!" Draining the last of her drink. Silence fell on them. Actually, silence fell on the whole diner. "Stay still," whispering very softly to him. She raised her eyes to the door. Stormtroopers stood at the door, blasters in hand. "Five of them." Her eyes flickered to the grimy windows. "Five more outside."

Poe gave a slight shake of the head. "Two more at the other door." Keeping his fork in one hand and sliding his other hand to the seat, close to his hip. Ready for action. Jaina followed. Her hand ready for action. "Only move if they do."

She nodded slightly. The Stormtroopers moved further inside. One was in charge as they moved to the counter. "Where's the suspects, Tex?"

Jaina froze. Had Tex betrayed them? He couldn't have. Her eyes looked up at Poe. His jaw locked as he watched the scene before him. "Get ready," he said through gritted teeth.

The leader walked towards them and stood at their table. "Identification," he ordered them.

Jaina spoke calmly and softly, "you don't need to see our identification." Her left hand gave a little wave.

"Identification." He said more forcefully.

"You don't need to see our identification. Move along." Waving her left hand ever-so-slightly.

The Stormtrooper stopped and there was a pause, "last chance. Identification."

"Last chance. You don't need to see our identification." Jaina remained calm and gave another wave of her hand, a little bigger than the last time. More obvious this time.

"You two are under arrest." He pulled her up from her seat, while another dragged Poe from his.

"Tex? Did you betray us? Tex!" Jaina was angry as she was pulled out of the diner. The owner hung his head in shame, avoiding looking at her as she was forcefully dragged away.

They were pushed to their knees, the street was soon empty. No one wanted to get in the way of the First Order. "You are under arrest for fraternising with the resistance."

Jaina thought fast. Assessed the area. Assessed the weaknesses in their ranks. She moved fast. Using her shoulder, she shoved the nearest guard away from her and kicked out at the next one. The rest of the troop jumped on them both, pinning them down. Jaina struggled harder. Determination and fear spurred her on. "Get off me!" She growled through gritted teeth.

"Stay down!" One of them said to her as he pinned her down. She could not overpower him.

But it was Poe who could overpower his captors. "Maia!" He fought as hard as he could. Punching and hitting anyone nearby. His own rage overpowered him when he saw her being pushed into the concrete ground. Seeing her wince in pain pushed him further. With no choice left, he charged at Maia's captors and threw them to the ground.

Jaina had less hands holding her down and able to fight back. Forcing them from her. She pulled herself up on her feet as fast as she could. Taking deep breaths to calm herself. Poe continued to fight the attacking Stormtroopers. The rest advanced on her. "Poe, we need to get out of here!"

"I'm trying," he said through gritted teeth as he swung at the next Stormtrooper.

Stepping back slowly as the Stormtroopers moved forward, Jaina used the wrong instincts and reached for the right weapon. The right weapon for her. Poe saw as she pulled out the weapon and he threw himself on the ground, thinking she has pulled out a bomb. She activated her weapon. Never waiting for them to stop her or to act. She twisted her body and swung the deadly weapon forward, striking down the nearest two Stormtroopers. They were hesitant to shoot at her. They knew that they shouldn't shoot at her but they needed to protect themselves and try to capture the woman.

Poe stood in fear, surprise and even awe as Jaina fought hard on her own. Slashing down each enemy. None of them bothered with him. They were determined to stop her.

Soon, each one of the enemy was on the floor. Dead. Defeated. "We need to get off this planet." Grabbing his hand and dragging him back along the streets, sheathing her lightsaber and disappearing into the crowd.

* * *

Neither said a word until they were back in their room, packing as fast as they could. "Tell me the truth!" He shouted. He was finally ready to talk. Before, he had been in shock at what he had seen her do. At what she could do. "You are not who you say you are."

"I am, Poe. I really am telling the truth. I am a pilot." Shoving the last of her contents into her bag. "But I have had to hide a little truth from you."

"Does the General know? I will have to tell her about this."

"I know," she snapped at him. "I will tell you everything on the ship. I promise. But right now, we need to get away from this planet. Fast. I mean it."

Poe could see that she was terrified. Of what? Being found with a possible stolen lightsaber. Possibly stolen. "Fine. You best tell me the whole truth."

Jaina neither agreed nor disagreed with it. She would have to conceal the truth as best as she could.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

For an hour of their return journey, neither of them spoke. They had escaped the planet without any trouble but they moved fast. Jumping into hyperspeed as soon as they could.

Switching to autopilot, Jaina finally turned to face Poe, who had been waiting patiently for answers. "I'm ready to talk." Remaining in her seat as he stood before her.

Poe took a moment to collect his thoughts and think about his questions. "You are a Jedi?"

She nodded. "Yes I am."

"You are name is not Maia?"

"That is correct. And before you ask. I won't tell you my real name. It is safer this way." She looked down at her hip, where her lightsaber sat. "So, please do not press me for my name."

He took a step forward towards her. "How did you survive? The Knights of Ren destroyed every Jedi at their temple. How did you survive?"

"I escaped. I ran as fast as I could. Went into hiding as soon as I knew I was far enough away from the Temple. I have been on the run ever since." Her voice calm as she spoke. Keeping herself calm and keep her mind clear. "I'm sorry for not telling you everything but it was for the best. Best for me. Best for you. Best for the resistance. I am sorry."

"Forgiven. But no more secrets. I don't want any more surprises."

She thought for a moment. "I have one condition. Let me speak to the general alone about the altercation."

"Does she know who you really are?"

"Yes. She knows the importance of keeping my identity a secret." Pulling herself off her seat. "Any more questions?"

"No," shaking his head. It was a lie but he did not have the courage to ask her. Ask her for more of the truth about her past. She was hiding more from him. From everyone. But her past was her past for a reason.

* * *

No one wanted to speak to Kylo Ren. He had a short temper and would react badly at any bad news. But they had to report news of the missing Jedis. There were only two Jedis left in all the galaxies. If there were any sightings, they must report to him immediately. It was Captain Phasma's job to do that. She stood before the intimidating man. "Sir, a squad of troops were killed in the lower levels of Coruscant a few hours ago. We realised when they did not report back to their base."

"Who killed them?"

"Two rebels. But one was a girl. She fought with a lightsaber."

His anger was flaring. "Why am I being told now?"

"I have only just told, sir."

He let out a scream of rage, causing the consoles behind him to explode. "It was her!" Roaring in rage as he left his rooms. The sightings of the girl was a sure sign that she would confront him. Confront him for he has done in the past and in the present. She had the strength and the ability to defeat him. His training was nearly finished but he was not ready to face her. She was not stronger than him but she was just as skilled as him. Their former master knew that.

With her constant appearances it meant that she was more confident being out in public.

* * *

"Please, don't talk to the General yet. I need to." Bringing her ship into the hanger. "I need to explain to her. Explain everything." Jaina was babbling. She was nervous about confronting her mother. Jaina had risked her life and Poe's. Something she had promised her mother not to do. Standing up, her hands visibly shaking. "Please."

Poe took one look at her and saw her nerves. He knew that she needed this as a sense of closure. "I'll be here when you need me." Taking her hand when she reached him. Halting her from leaving. "Calm. Face her calmly. She will see reason."

"I hope so." His soothing words seemed to bring her to reason and a sense of calm. "Thank you," her voice barely a whisper.

* * *

The waiting was killing her. She felt like she was a child again, waiting for her mother to scold her for not doing as she was told or fighting with Ben. Again. Everyone was staring as she waited outside the General's office. Right now, she could do with Poe's calming manner. Never had she felt terrified of her mother. Not like this. She was a grown woman now. Not a little girl any more. Even though she felt like she was now.

The door opened, where members of the Resistance left the office. Each of them not acknowledging Jaina, which she was grateful for. "Come in, Maia," the soft voice of the General drifted from the office.

Taking one deep breath, she entered her mother's office. "General."

"What happened, Jaina?" Her mother sat behind a desk, papers strewn everywhere. Plans, notes.

"We left our room to go for food. We needed to get out for our sanity." She tried to make the conversation light but Leia saw past it,

"Jaina."

She sighed heavily. "We were a Dex's. Tex betrayed us. He thinks I am a resistance fighter. Well I am but when I met him, he never knew I wasn't really. Well he did betray us. We had to fight. It was instinct, mother. I had to. I needed to."

"Jaina!" She scolded her. "You know I need you safe. You know you need to hide that side of you."

"I know mother!" Her anger flaring up inside her. A temper she had inherited from both sides of her parents. So had Ben. His temper was worse. "But lately, I've been struggling to hide it. To conceal my identity. The Force seems to be driving me more than anything."

Leia felt all the dread hit her shoulders. The pain of maybe losing her daughter. She was one of the last Jedis left. One of the good ones. She could not bare to see her daughter in agony of having to hide her true identity. To hide who she really was. "Jaina, you know the risks. If Snoke finds you, I don't want to lose you to the dark side too."

"You won't." Bowing her head slightly and quickly leaving the warmth of her mother's office. Ignoring her calls for her to return.

* * *

Her mind was set on one thing to get away from all the hustle of the resistance. All wanting to ask questions about her and Poe's mission. Or failure. Slipping into her own ship to hide. Hide away from everyone. From her seat, she could look out at the lush green hills. Ships flying up and away from the planet. The bustle of the resistance still moved on while she hid away. Afraid to face everyone for her failure and her lack of thinking when it came to fighting.

"Maia?"

"Come in Poe." Not turning at the sound of his voice. "Don't worry. I've sent R5 elsewhere. Somewhere more useful. Plus he is annoying when I'm upset." Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. "Take a seat."

Slowly, he took his place in the co-pilot chair. "What is it? Were you reprimanded for what happened?"

"Yes. But not because of the mission. But because I endangered our lives."

He reached over and took her by the hand. "Maia, you did what you thought was right. You saved us both. It doesn't matter who you are. You did what was right."

Jaina felt conflicted. In her heart she knew she had been right to fight with the weapon of her choice but her head said that she had been wrong to reveal her true identity. "But..."

He cut her off, "no. You were right. Don't doubt yourself."

"I shouldn't but I do. I always have done. Family things."

Poe noticed that she avoided looking at him when talking about her past and her family. He never pressed but today he felt like he could. "What happened to your family? You never talk about them."

"I'm estranged from them. My brother especially. My Dad died a few years ago." Still avoiding his eyes. "He was the only one I was close to. He taught me how to fly." Her free hand ran over the nearest part of her ship; the control panel.

Releasing her hand. "I spoke with the General before I came to you."

"And? What did she say?" Feeling lost without his hand in her own. Shaking away the feeling, she listened to what her mother had said to him.

"She wants us to go into hiding. Particularly you. She wants to protect you and she was adamant about it."

"No. I need to stay here. I want to stay here. We weren't followed. I doubt we were tracked. So we are safe. No. I insist we stay." Pulling herself to her feet and striding to the entrance.

"Maia, stop. Listen to me. I understand why the General wants us to go into hiding and I understand why you want to stay. But I actually agree with you. We should stay. We would be no use for the resistance if we are in hiding." Reaching over and took her hand in his. "I told her that. I told her that we needed to be with the resistance." He moved to lean towards her

Instincts took over her and mirrored him. She shifted forward to him. Her voice a whisper, "thank you." They were close.

"You're welcome," his own voice a whisper too. He made the move. He leaned forward more and pressed his lips to hers. There were no more worries for them both right at this moment. Nothing matter any more.

* * *

High above them, a ship approached the planet. Returning after many days away, the Millennium Falcon was returning to D'Qar. Bringing Luke Skywalker back. Back to the resistance. Bringing hope with him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

There was delight throughout the base at the reappearance of Luke Skywalker. There was one person who was not wholly delighted by the return of the Last Jedi: Jaina. She was afraid to talk to him. Afraid to face him. Not for any particular reason. Just afraid to face the past.

Apart from her Uncle returning, Jaina was concerned with her developing relationship with Poe. They had not said nothing since the kiss. Though it was only 30 minutes ago. She was nervous. He had insisted on leaving her ship to greet the returning ship. "No. I need time alone." Avoiding looking at him. Afraid to give away her true thoughts and feelings.

"Sure. I will bring you news." He gave her a small nod before leaving her alone. His head was telling him to stay with her. She seemed slightly more nervous than before. He noticed that she kept herself away from the windows. Nervously looking outside, keeping hidden in the shadows. "Maia? Are you sure you are all right?"

"Just a little shaken about Coruscant." Avoiding his eyes. Avoiding him for a moment. "I don't want to see Luke. He trained me when I was young and I don't know if he knows that I am alive."

"I see." He nodded. "Hide here. I won't tell." Giving her a cheeky wink. Before leaving her alone to her thoughts.

Jaina watched him leave. It was as if their kiss never happened. Was it her? Was it him? Her mind was filled with unanswered questions. Not just about her relationship with Poe. But also about her life that she was living. Living a lie. Pretending to be another woman when her true self was desperate to escape and reveal herself. But the lies were building and starting to crack. How long would she have to keep hiding her true self? Keeping the truth hidden because it would destroy many lives. Especially if she was found. The planet would be destroyed just to see her own destruction.

* * *

"You are hiding something from me, Leia," spoke her twin brother. He had arrived on D'Qar only moments ago to great celebrations. But he waited no longer than he needed. Immediately he and Leia went into her office to talk. She needed to pass on the news of Han and away from prying eyes.

She took a slow breath and sat down. "Did you feel a disturbance in the Force not so long ago?"

"I did. I couldn't work out what it was." Taking his place next to her. "What was it?"

A slow breath out and she was telling him the truth. "It was Han. He was killed."

Luke could not believe what he had just heard. One of his oldest friends. Dead. The good strong Han Solo. "How?" He finally managed to speak.

"Ben. It was Ben."

"No. His own father?" Shaking his head in disbelief.

"There is one other thing."

"I don't want any more horrid news."

"Not so horrid. There has been reports of sightings. A Jedi. You are not the last." She found that hard to say.

"Who?"

"We don't know. Just someone has been spotted fighting with a lightsaber." She reached over and rested her hand upon his. "They will show themselves to you when they believe the time is right."

* * *

Jaina never moved from her ship. She hid herself inside. Poe had left an hour ago and had not returned. In that hour she contemplated on leaving and never returning. But there was always an excuse to stop her from leaving. Her mother. The resistance. Poe. A month ago, they would have been excuses for her to run away. But they had become excuses to stay.

She would normally avoid her mother. She would definitely avoid being a part of the Resistance. She would, more than anything, avoid men. Afraid to get too close. Afraid to getting hurt.

Now, she didn't care about that. She wanted to be with her mother. She wanted to fight for the Resistance. She wanted to get to know Poe more. It was something new. Never had she felt about a man like she was. It was confusing.

Her hands hovered over the controls. Just itching to control her ship. To control the way she lived. To leave without telling anyone. To leave without having to worry about others and big responsibilities. Her fingers twitching. Eager to press the right buttons to control the ship and leave. Her heart and head were conflicted. Torn in two. She was moments from summoning her R5 unit back to the ship when a set of footsteps walked up the ramp. Stopping her from making any more decisions.

* * *

"The Dark Side is growing. I'm not the only one who can feel it. Every planet can. Snoke is just a game maker. He is using the Knights of Ren to play his game." Luke explained to Leia and the main commanders. "Call a meeting. We need to discuss the plan of attack. The faster we destroy Snoke, the faster the galaxies will be safe."

With Luke back, they all felt at ease. But the threat of the First Order was still constant. Hanging over them like a dark black cloud threatening to burst. "Luke," sighed Leah. "You need to rest. We all need to rest. Call the meeting tomorrow."

"Leia."

"No Luke. This is an order from your General." Putting her hand on his shoulder. "Please Luke. Wait until tomorrow."

Reluctantly he nodded in agreement. "You do look tired, sister."

* * *

"Poe," she gasped when he came into view. Her hands far away from the controls. "You scared me."

He smiled as he pushed his hair back. "You knew I would be coming back."

Pulling herself to her feet with a laugh. "I know. I was lost in my thoughts." Walking past him to some of her cargo, that lay aimlessly around her ship. "How was the welcoming return of the legend, that is Luke Skywalker?"

"Not what I thought would be. He was happy to be back but him and the General soon disappeared into her offices." He leant back on the wall of her ship, watching her carefully. "I am just waiting to hear if they will call a meeting. They most likely will."

"Oh right," not truly bothered by the fact.

"Maia? What's wrong?"

"I'm scared to see him." Dropping an empty box carelessly and giving it a small kick. "I'm scared Luke will look at me and blame himself for everything that happened. Blame himself because I was the only one who survived the massacre and that the others could have survived. It wasn't his fault but he will blame himself. Especially if he sees me." She turned around and tears were streaking down her cheeks. "I'm scared for that. For him. Not for me."

He wasted no time. He wrapped his arms around her and comforted her. She needed this. "It's ok. It's ok." Holding her as she sobbed against him. Her emotions had become too much. Overwhelming her. Her fingers gripped the collar of his jacket and pulled herself up to press her lips against his cheek. A sense of urgency filled her. She moved to his mouth and kissed him hard. For a moment he kissed her back but he pulled away quickly. He knew that she was seeking comfort through her pain. "Maia, stop. I would love to kiss you more but you are upset and tired. You need to rest."

Her hands still on his collar, holding herself against him. She was filled with so much emotions, she could not decide on what to do. She found herself agreeing with him. "Sure." Releasing her grip on his collar. "Sorry."

With gentleness, Poe kissed her forehead. Such a soft gesture, she barely felt it but she knew it was there. It calmed her. "Come. You need to eat and rest."

"I've eaten. Still had some horrible dry food left over from my travels." Chuckling nervously and walking past him. "I'm going to sleep here tonight. I'll set the heating on and I will be fine here."

He watched her carefully. "I don't believe you. I'll stay with you. You look like you are about to drop." Taking her in his arms and held her. He just held her.

* * *

Jaina agreed to allow Poe to stay the night on her ship. Reluctantly. She was very protective of her ship. Not wanting to share the space unless it was needed. Again, that was very rare. He had gone out to get them some warm food. Giving her time to change out of her travel clothes, which were dirty and slightly torn because of her recent fight. After a quick refreshing wash, she changed into a pair of comfortable trousers and a loose white shirt. Her long hair tied into a side plait. She looked neat and tidy. The tidiest she had been in a long time. Being in the resistance had no time for personal appearances.

"There isn't much in the way of warm food except meat soup and some freshly baked bread." He spoke as he walked onto the ship. "So is that..." He stopped when he saw her. She looked completely different. She looked feminine. "Wow."

Jaina didn't know how to reply. A blush painted her cheeks. "Thanks. It's amazing what a wash and clean clothes does to you." Pulling at the bottom of her shirt. Feeling self-conscious about the way she looked. He was the same as her. He had washed and changed his clothing. Standing in more comfortable clothes. "Come. Let's eat. I'm starving."

The pair of them sat at her small table and ate, laughed and talked. "Where is R5?" He asked when food was finished, the plates and bowls lay dirty on the table.

"He is in the hanger. I sent a message to him for him to stay there tonight. But knowing him, he is keeping guard outside the ship." She could feel herself becoming tired. "I need to sleep. I've not felt this tired in a long time."

"Bed." He ordered her. "I'll clean up here."

"Leave it. R5 will break in here in the morning and do it. He is useful for most things. Cleaning is his speciality." Finishing her sentence with a yawn. "I only have one bed. But it is big enough for us both. No nonsense though." Giving him a small but tired smile.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

For as long as she remembered, Jaina would always wake up after a few hours sleep. She would not need a lot of sleep. She never had done. But this night was different. She slept solidly for hours and when she awoke, she awoke with a warm arm over her. At first it disorientated her and then she remembered.

Poe.

Slowly, she twisted. "Good morning," he whispered when she turned to face him.

"Hello." Biting her lower lip. "How did you sleep?"

"Very comfortably. Not all ships are this comfortable." Giving her a lop sided smile. "How are you feeling now?"

"Calmer." Shifting her hand under her head. "Thank you." Raising herself up to look down on him. "For staying. I don't think I have ever slept like that in a long time."

"Same." He reached up and pushed away a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear. He never pulled away. Poe pressed his hand on her cheek. Their eyes locked on each other. When she did not pull away or say a word, he raised himself up to her. Bringing himself closer to her. Silently, he pushed a curl of her hair away from her to behind the ear.

"Poe..." She whispered. Her breath brushing against his lips. "Kiss me," practically begging him. Pulling her closer to him, their lips pressed together. A connection between the two of them seemed unbreakable. It was as if they had been destined to meet and have this connection. If she were still a fully fledged Jedi, their relationship would be forbidden. But she did not care for that part of her life. It was no longer important. The kiss grew. He pulled her down on top of him. Bringing his strong arms around her. "We should go."

"We should." Turning them over for him to lie over her. "We really should." Pressing his lips to her neck.

She laughed. "I'm ticklish there."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"Don't you dare!" She giggling slightly but that giggle grew when he did what he was planning on doing. Kissing her on the neck. Teasing her mercilessly. "Poe!" Squealing loudly. "We need to go."

The door to the ship unlocked, causing them both to freeze in place.

"That'll be R5," whispered Jaina. "He will not be happy that I slept in here. With you." A blush painted her cheeks.

"Is that droid ever happy?" He asked, climbing out of her bed.

She laughed and followed him out of bed. "No. Not when it comes to the opposite sex." She slipped into her boots and pulled a large shirt over her sleep shirt.

The droid was soon in the room and becoming aggressive towards Poe. Beeping angrily at him and trying to push him out of the room. "R5, get off me!" Trying to push the droid away from him.

"R5, that is enough! We behaved!" She got between Poe and R5. "Stop being so overprotective!" Giving him a slight kick. "I'll power you down." He immediately backed away. "Now, you are not to say anything to anyone about what you have seen. What do you want anyway?"

The droid beeped at her.

"A meeting. I can't be seen." Her voice soft. Turning to Poe with a look of fear in her eyes.

"Hide in the back. He will never see you."

Jaina knew that was not enough. Luke would know that she was there. "Of course."

R5 left them alone, rather reluctantly.

"Hey. It will all be all right." Poe stood before her. Hands on her shoulders. "Relax."

* * *

The meeting room was full. Everyone wanted a glimpse of Luke Skywalker. With his return, hope was restored. They had a chance of defeating the First Order now. Poe had taken his place near the General, as he was an important member of the Resistance. But Jaina remained hidden away in the back. Blending in with the crowds there. Keeping a good distance between herself and her uncle.

The meeting soon began. Arguments grew between nearly every senior member. Each believing that they knew what to do. Jaina shook her head. This was what was destroying their chances of peace everywhere. Not one person could make a decision on a course of action. The pilots around her were becoming irritated too. Each of them annoyed by the fact that their leaders were unable to come to a decision.

"Quiet." Luke's voice rose above all of them. "There is no use in arguing over everything we each suggest. Talk about it rationally. We need to get to the centre of the problem. Snoke. He needs to be stopped first. I know it is aiming high."

"What do you suggest?" A voice from the back shouted.

Luke stood still. "Has our informant given the details to the new base?"

"Yes. He says it is stronger than ever before. More and more supporters. But Snoke has not revealed himself." Spoke up Pamich Nerro Goode. She had been in regular contact with the informant. She stood close to General Leia. "Kylo Ren and Hux are currently acting as the leaders."

Jaina froze at the mention of her brother's name. The name he chose when he turned to the Dark Side. To her, he was still Ben. Her big brother who cared about her. Now, he had no love for her or their family. No love in him caused him to kill their father.

"What about the other Jedis?" A voice in the back shouted out when the room was silent for the moment. All eyes turned to Luke, who seemed untouched by the question. "There is one out there. A Jedi killed Stormtroopers on Coruscant. There must be more. They can fight with us."

Luke shook his head. "I do not know what to say to that. The First Order destroyed the temple and those inside. I didn't know if any survived." His eyes scanned the crowd. "Until now. There is one who did. Come out, Jaina."

Jaina closed her eyes and kept herself calm and still. But she knew it was no good. Her uncle knew. Whispers filled the room. Now there was no way she could hide her true identity. Slowly, she took steps forward to the middle of the meeting. Members of the resistance parted for her. Hushed voices followed her, "Solo's daughter? I thought she was dead."

As she reached the centre of the room, she could feel everyone staring at her. "Uncle." Her eyes falling only on him. "What do you suggest? You and I to fight alone?"

"No. Find more Jedi. There must have been more survivors."

Jaina laughed and shook her head. "You know there wasn't. I can feel it. So can you. Stop denying it, Luke."

They kept their gazes fixed on each other. "We need more. If Snoke knew there were more he would see us as a threat."

"He knows we are. I killed the Stormtroopers on Coruscant. Ben will know that I am alive. It will anger them both. We need to use what we have here. It could take years to find any potential Jedis. Use the pilots. That's all I have to say." Turning away from him to leave but found herself facing Poe. Disbelief written all over him. "I'm sorry." Moving past him and leaving everyone.

* * *

Shocked was the only way to describe Poe's emotion. The woman he had slowly fallen in love with was the daughter of the General. That was not the worst part about it. The worst part was that she had lied to him continuously. From the moment they had met she had told him lie after lie after lie. Silently he left the meeting room, where everyone was discussing the reappearance of Jaina. There seemed to be more hope. Another Jedi was with the Resistance.

Poe had slipped from the meeting. Leaving the pilots and workers and everyone discussing the return of Jaina. Discussing the fact that she had been in their Resistance and not made herself known. It had angered them. A Jedi could have helped begin the defeat of the First Order.

Her ship still sat in its hanger. Which meant she had not run away like he thought that she would have. "Maia?" He shook his head. That wasn't her name. He now felt foreign on his tongue. Her name was Jaina but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Cautiously, he stepped onto the ship. "Maia?"

"Yes. In here."

He went further inside and found her in the sitting area. "No R5?"

"Powered him down. He was getting worse." Avoiding looking at him when she spoke.

"Do you want me to go?"

"Stay," whispering and finally looking up at him. "I'm sorry."

He sat himself opposite her. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?" Poe wanted to reach over and touch her. Hold her hand.

"I told you. I couldn't. If I did, you would be at risk. Luke did it to bring hope to the Resistance. I don't know how I can help." She was avoiding the real reason as to why Luke brought her out of the dark.

"Maia… Jaina…" He reached over and touched her fingers. Her hands sat on the table and she had been drumming her fingers on the surface. She was thinking. "Talk to me. I want to help."

Her fingers stopped. "I want to but I don't want to lose you." Tears fell down her cheeks. "There is so much I want to tell you but I am afraid to."

"Fine." He nodded and gave her fingers a squeeze. "What are you going to do?"

She gave a shrug in the shoulders. "I don't know. My feet are itching to run away but my head and heart are stuck here." Removing her fingers away from his hands, she pulled herself to her feet. "I don't know."

He followed her. "Can I offer a suggestion?"

"Yes," her voice a whisper.

Poe stepped up behind her. Standing very close to her. "Stay. Not because you are a Jedi. But because I need you… As a pilot," adding very quickly. "You are one of the best pilots I have seen."

"Just for that?" Pushing him a little for the truth.

"No." His hands on her hips, pulling her close. "I want you to stay." He turned her around. "I want you." Cupping her cheeks and kissing her. The need for her was great. The need for him was great for her too. "Please stay," whispering when they parted. His forehead resting on her own.

Her tears were still falling. Her emotions becoming too much for her. All she could think to do was to kiss him. She did. She had her hands on his chest. Gripping his shirt. Just to be able to hold onto a part of him. A need. "Poe," whispering his name. Her lips very close to his.

"Jaina." Using her real name without a mistake. It still seemed strange. "We should go back."

Jaina said nothing. Not a word. Her hands slipped into his jacket and pushed it from him. A small smile played on her lips when his jacket dropped to the ground. "Yes, we should go back. But do you want to?"

It was Poe's turn to say nothing. His arm slipped around her waist and pulled her tight to him. Eagerly his lips claimed hers. For a brief thought, he knew that she must be stronger than him but he took control of the situation. Once his arm was around her, he lifted her up and getting her to wrap her legs around him. Their bodies ached for each other. Poe knew the nearest surface was the small table in the sitting area, just behind him. Spinning them around, he moved towards it. Laying her down on it, parting from their hot kiss. He stood up, looking down at the panting woman. The sight of her was arousing. Her long hair haloed around her, her lips parted and her chest rising and falling with each pant.

"Door. Lock it." She gasped out once she found her words.

Poe needed no other order from her. He rushed away to close the door to her ship. Upon returning to Jaina, he pulled his shirt off. She was sitting upon on her elbows and watching him. What made it worse, she was biting her lower lip as he approached her. "What?"

"Wow." Reaching forward, hooking her fingers through the loops of his trousers and drawing him to her. "Just. Wow."

"How far do you want to go?"

"Don't stop." Sitting up on the table. "Don't ever stop."

Poe smiled at her and slipped his hands under her shirt. "May I?"

Slowly and teasingly she ran the tip of her tongue along her upper lip. "You may not stop."

With a soft laugh, he lay over her and kissed her neck. His warm, calloused hand moved up her body, pushing her shirt up. "I will not stop." Teasingly, he pushed her shirt slowly up her body and stopping just at her breasts. His fingers brushing on the underside of her breast. Her breath hitching when he moved down her body. His lips trailing down.

"Poe," she breathed when he hooked his fingers in the waistband of her trousers, shimmying them down her legs. His eyes never looking away from her face. "Please," begging him.

He needed no other instruction.

\- - - - - - - - - – -


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Well, I was not expecting that," laughed Jaina as the pair of them lounged on the long seat in the main area. A blanket covering both of them and she was also wearing his shirt. "Right now I had thought to be far away from here. Forgetting about everything. Just hiding from my identity."

His fingers intertwined with her own. "I'm glad you didn't. Why do you want to go?"

She sighed heavily, "I don't know. I'm scared?"

"I know. But, this time, you don't have to be alone." Placing a very gentle kiss on her neck. "What do you want to do?"

"Right now?" Twisting slightly to look at him. "Eat. I'm famished."

Poe laughed and held her tighter. "Not that. I meant in general."

"I don't know. Run. Fight. Hide. Can I do all of them?" Settling into his comfortable embrace. "But my mind and heart are choosing to stay and fight."

"Good." Kissing her neck again and holding her hand tighter. "But as what? A pilot or Jedi?"

She pulled herself off him and getting off the long seat. "I don't know. I'm conflicted, Poe. I want to fight as a pilot. Like my Dad would have. But my head and heart want to fight as a Jedi. I know it is the choice I should make but I don't want to make it."

"You have to. You know you do." Standing up holding the blanket around his waist. "We should go back." Stepping behind her and giving her neck small kisses. "But then again..."

Jaina laughed and pressed herself against his chest. "Hmmm… I know what you mean." Closing her eyes and letting her head rest back on his shoulder. "But you are right. We need to go back. I need to talk to Luke."

* * *

"She's scared, Luke. She lost everything when Ben went to the Dark Side. She lost you. Lost her brother. Now her father. Don't expect her to decide to be with you." Leia spoke with Luke just outside the hanger where Jaina's ship was. "Let her come to you."

Luke stared into the hanger. He remembered when she returned to Jedi training with her ship. She was so proud of it. "I need to speak to her, Leia. Not to persuade her. Just to talk."

Leia knew there was no persuading her brother once he set his mind on something. "Just be gentle. I didn't think she would ever come back. With Han's death, it brought her back to me. Not the way I wanted it but she is back. Don't take her away from me again."

"Jaina!" He called up. The door was shut and he knew she was in there. "Jaina! Open up. I know you are in there. Please. I just want to talk." He stepped back from the ship and stood next to Leia. "She is in there. With someone else."

The door eventually opened and Jaina appeared. She was fully dressed in a long shirt and trousers with bare feet. She was obviously angry with him. Her arms folded in front of her and jaw clenched. "What?"

"I want to talk to you," spoke Luke with a calming voice.

She scoffed, "now? When you have given me no time to think? Give me until tomorrow. Please."

"No. We need to talk now."

"No we don't." She turned her back on him and returned inside her ship. But before she could shut the ramp, Luke was following her inside. "Get out! I don't want to talk." Groaning in annoyance when he continued to follow her inside. "Luke!"

Poe was standing in the main area, only in a pair of trousers and only just pulling on his shirt. "Oh. General." Nodding to Leia politely.

Jaina rolled her eyes before seating herself on the edge of the table. "Well talk. I have things to do here." Keeping her gaze on her Uncle, hoping he would go if she acted cold towards him. She didn't mean to but she did not want to be anywhere near him right now. He would have questions and demands for her. He'd question her about the night the temple fell. He'd demand to finish her Jedi training and help defeat the First Order.

Luke looked between Jaina and Poe. He realised. "Ah! I see. Would you excuse us?"

"You don't need to go," said Jaina to Poe.

"No, you need this." He kissed her cheek and left with a bow to his General.

Silence filled the ship. Awkward silence. "Well?" Jaina broke the awkward moment, jumping off her table. "What do you want?"

"How?" Luke took a seat at the table, sitting opposite Jaina, who had taken a seat.

"I don't want to talk about that day. I'm not ready. The only other person who knew was father." She avoided looking at her mother. Ashamed that she could talk to her father more than her own mother. Yet that was always how it had been. Jaina was never close to her mother. Probably never will be.

"Jaina, I need to know. It could help us," he pressed her for the matter. "Help us with Ben."

She scoffed, "Ben is gone. Deep down, you know that. I know it. Mother knows it. You are just denying it. We lost Ben years ago." Turning to look around her ship. "This has been life since I ran away. Since I was forced to run away from everyone. Not because I had to. But because I needed to. To protect those I love. It will always be like that until it is over." She knew what that last statement. So did Luke and her mother. Ben's death.

"No Jaina. No." Leia shook her head and sat beside her daughter. "That won't happen."

"It's the only way, mother," whispering softly. Afraid to say the truth herself. "You know that." Standing on the long bench and climbing over the back. "I'd like you to leave please." Taking her place just before the ramp to leave. "Out. Now!"

"No." Luke was more forceful and refused to move. "We need to know how to take the next step."

Jaina scoffed again, "no. No. I don't want to be at the centre of it all! I can't. I can't do it, Uncle."

Luke took slow steps towards her. "You can. You are just scared."

She avoided his gaze. She knew Luke was right but she didn't want to admit it to him and herself. Silence held them. "Jaina?" Her mother finally spoke. She had been keeping her distance from them both. She was there for them but not saying anything. Giving them a chance to talk their thoughts through. But the pair of them were both as stubborn as the other. Luke wanted to have things to go his way for the good of the galaxies. Jaina was stubborn on the fact of that she wanted to be far away from the trouble to save herself and her family.

"I… I…." She couldn't put her words together. Her fear was beginning to surface. "I am scared!" She finally found her words but also her anger and fear surfaced. "I am terrified! For the past few years, I have been on the run from my own brother!" She strode up to her uncle and stood before him. "You ran away too! You went into hiding too! You didn't even check to see if I was still alive!" Anger tears fell down her cheeks. The memories of her past always on the surface. Always giving her pain but always making her continue to fight. "You just left us all! We needed you." She gritted her teeth and her hands gripped into fists. "I needed you. More than mother. More than father. But you were gone. You didn't even try to find me."

Gently, he put his hands on her shoulders, giving her slight comfort. "I am sorry, Jaina. I was filled with grief. I thought you were all dead. Including you. It broke my heart to think that. My head was full of trying to figure out what to do. I didn't think to look for you."

With aggression, she pushed his hands off her shoulders. "No! You didn't think! You thought that was the end. Ben going to the Dark Side and killing everyone. They were my friends, Luke. I grew up with most of them. I am hurt just as much as you. More even." Her angry tears fell down her cheeks faster.

"Jaina..."

"No mother." Turning on her mother, who had stepped forward to comfort her. "This is between me and Luke. Don't get involved in this."

"Jaina." Luke's tone was stern towards her. "Stop it."

"No! I am going to say what I have wanted to say for a very long time. I have never felt so alone than that fateful day. Everyone was dead because we couldn't simply love Ben like we should have." Moving away from her family. "We all drove Ben to Snoke. We didn't lose him. We made him lose his way." Turning her back on the twins, she took deep breaths to keep herself from boiling over with anger. "It's our fault just as much as Snoke's. He has a hold on Ben that we cannot break without taking Snoke out of the equation."

"We know. I need your help to do it, Jaina. I cannot do it alone." Luke was now pleading with her. "I have a padawan and she is strong with the force. With all three of us, I believe we can finish Snoke and bring home Ben."

Her lower lip trembled as the anger ceased and tears were trickling down her pale cheeks. "We can't. Ben is long gone. I have lost my brother. I lost him the day he attacked us. The day he killed everyone." She could barely talk at the end. Her body overcoming with sobs. It was overwhelming for her. Too much.

Luke did not waste another moment, reached forward and held her. The first proper contact between the two of them for the first time in a long time. "I am here. It will be better. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

It took her some time to calm down. It was the first time in over 15 years had Leia been able to console her daughter like this. With Han's death, Jaina excepted it and bottled away her feelings. Everything was all coming out. Being alone, her father's death, her brother's betrayl and Luke's return. The emotions were overwhelming her. Now she was sleeping on her mother's lap.

"She looks like a little girl again. I remember her being like this when she was 8," whispered Leia, running her fingers through her daughter's dark hair. The comfort had sent the young woman to sleep. An old habit she had used on both her children to calm them down. "Han went away again."

"I remember." Luke sat opposite them both. They were still sitting inside Jaina's ship. "She tried to hide inside but Chewie found her sleeping."

Leia laughed softly, "yes. She was so angry when she woke up and Han was gone." Looking down at her daughter, who finally looked at peace. "I cannot lose her too, Luke."

With a heavy sigh, he gave a small nod. "I promise, she will come home to you."

* * *

Jaina had no idea she needed her sleep and the comfort of her mother until she woke up from her long sleep. "How long was I asleep for?" She yawned and stretched.

"A couple of hours. You needed it." Her mother smiled at her. "But there is no time to stop. Your Uncle is waiting for you to train."

She scoffed and stood up from her place. "No rest." Disappearing into her sleeping quarters. "Where am I training with him?" Calling from the small room, where she was dressing into more comfortable clothing: brown leggings and a cream shirt with a belt around the waist.

"I will take you there."

Jaina groaned as she walked back to her mother. "This is going to be interesting." Rolling her shoulders backward, loosening up her muscles from sleeping in such an awkward position. "It has been a long time since I trained." Slotting her lightsaber into her belt. Every image of a Jedi. Just without her cloak, which was packed away in a box on her ship. Somewhere.

"It has been a while since I have seen you like this." Smiling slightly. Heartache filled her. A reminder of her lost son and when she lost her daughter. "Are you ready?"

"As I ever will be." Tying her long hair behind her. Letting out one long breath. "I am ready."

Mother and daughter left the ship side-by-side. No word was said to the other. Leia was afraid to say the wrong thing to Jaina. Jaina was afraid to say anything at all. The walk was short. Leia led her to a large hanger, which stood alone and slightly away from other buildings. With every step Jaina wanted to turn back and hide in her ship. Hide from her responsibilities and wait for everything to finish around her.

A crowd stood around the entrance to the hanger. "Oh no. I don't want an audience."

"People aren't convinced. Some aren't convinced about Luke and you," sighing as they drew closer. "They want to see what you can do."

Jaina rolled her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. But then again, she could not blame them. Years ago, before her mother was even born, the Jedi were a peaceful organisation. Guardians of peace and justice. The Dark Side led them to near extinction. Sending the Jedis into stories. As if they never existed. Making them into fairy tales. When the Sith Empire was defeated by Luke. The New Jedi Order was created. To bring new Jedis into the light. Only for them to be taken away again because of the First Order rising in power. No wonder the galaxy did not believe in them. "Great(!)," she said sarcastically.

"Just focus on the task." Putting a hand on her daughter's back. "I will be there."

"Even better," her sarcasm still evident in her voice. Picking up her pace; to get the training over and done with and to get away from her mother.

"Jaina!" She scolded her daughter, who ignored her as she pushed through the crowds to get inside.

* * *

The observers soon parted for Jaina for her to enter the hanger. "Let's get this over with," sighed Jaina. In the middle of this large hanger, stood Luke and a young woman. "This must be your new Padawan." Addressing Luke and avoided looking at the young woman, who seemed to be nervous in Jaina's presence. "Jaina."

"I'm Rey." She was timid but she stood tall when talking. Trying to hide her fear of being here.

"Too old to be a Padawan." Skulking around them both. "Let's get started before I change my mind."

"Jaina," scolded Luke. "Behave."

She bit her tongue to stop herself from biting back with another response. "Fine." She took a quick glance around the hanger, it was filled with a lot of members of the Resistance. All curious about the powers of the Jedi. She felt the fear of failure, disappointment and rejection begin to creep into her. Failure of not being a good Jedi, disappointment from her uncle and rejection from those around her that she had come to call friends. Her eyes fell on Poe, who stood near the door to the hanger. He gave her a small nod and she turned to her uncle. "Let's get on with it." Withdrawing her single-hilt lightsaber from her belt and activating it. Ready to wield it.

* * *

As the training went on, there were less and less of the Resistance watching. Either found themselves bored with the training or they had better things to do on the base. Sweat trailed down her back as she swung her arm around to attack Rey. They were both exhausted. Luke was pushing them harder and harder. Jaina knew she was out of shape as Rey was very close to defeating her.

But Jaina had more skill. More training and older. Rey was soon disarmed. The two women stood three feet apart, heavily breathing. "I'm done," said Jaina, switching off her lightsaber.

"Jaina."

"No, Uncle. I'm done for today." Ignoring him and turning away from the centre.

"Jaina!" He was getting angry with her. "We are not finished."

She spun around to face him. "Stop it," she growled in frustration at him. "I'm tired. Rey is tired. You cannot make us fight until we fall. In a real fight, our adrenaline will keep us moving. This training is not what we need right now. We need food and rest." Storming away from him.

No word came from Luke or any who were left watching. Shocked to see someone stand up to the legend that is Luke Skywalker.

* * *

Sitting alone in the eating communal area, Jaina was allowed time to reflect on her thoughts. On her situation. On her past, present and uncertain future. Ripping the bread into pieces, staring at the nearly empty plate, she reflected on her past. Her past when it put her on the path that she was walking now. Ben. Luke. The temple.

That unexpected night.

* * *

 _It was just a normal night. Most of the students were asleep. Except those on night duty. Jaina was not one of those on duty. She had not been sleeping very well. She had noticed a disturbance in the force and it caused her loss of sleep. Luke was never at the temple for counsel. He must have felt the disturbance and it explained his constant absence from the temple._

 _Jaina was the highest ranking student. She had been trained since she was old enough to understand and when Luke was away, she was in charge. If there had been more Jedi, she would more than likely be a Padawan right now and not a student at the newly built Jedi Temple. Even a Jedi master if she committed to her studies. Her Uncle was not prepared to give her that status. He felt she was not ready. She felt she was ready._

 _A shift in the force brought her out of her thoughts. Something was not right. Jaina felt afraid. Never had she felt afraid in her own comfort zone. Her slow and cautious steps quickly changed to running when the first explosion shook the temple. "No..." Another explosion hit soon after. Making her run faster towards the danger. "GET OUT!" She screamed to anyone she passed. Those she past were servants. She never past any Jedi students. They must be at the source of the problem._

 _She reached the centre of the Temple. Her heart stopped at the destruction there. "No!" She gasped. The centre of the Temple and the north parts were destroyed._

" _There is one!" A trooper had spotted her._

 _A voice in her head told her to run. She did. She turned on the spot and ran. Ran as fast as she could. Explosions were happening behind her. Happening very close to her. She ran and ran until she was out of the Temple. The largest explosion happened. The impact of it sending her flying briefly and hitting the ground hard. "No..." She whimpered, turning to see the destruction. "No!"_

 _A face appeared in the smoke. A man dressed in black. "Join me. Join the dark side."_

" _No… No..." The face became clearer to Jaina. "Ben..."_

" _Come Jaina. Join me."_

" _No. Ben… Come back… Come back..." Pulling herself to her feet. Her unsteady legs barely able to hold her up. "Ben… Why?"_

" _It's where I am suppose to be." He stalked towards her, his arm stretched out to the side, lightsaber in his hand. Poised and ready. "It's where you are supposed to be. Our grandfather, he knew the power of the Dark Side. It is in our family blood. We cannot deny it. Come Jaina."_

 _She shook her head. "No!" Screaming at him and turning as fast as she could. Sprinting away from her brother. Another explosion filled the air. She never stopped running. Never looking back. Running away from the life that she had grown accustomed to and loved. Gone in minutes._

* * *

"Jaina?" Rey's voice entered her subconsciousness.

Jaina turned and gave a groan. "Did Luke send you?"

"Yes. We… We need to finish the training."

"No," she scoffed, "he can wait. I'm eating." Turning away from the younger girl, who did not leave. "Get food. Sit down. Eat. You will fall if you don't. Like I said only adrenaline will keep you moving not food. Just remember that."

"Why are you like this? Cold and alone?"

"It's how I have lived. I've had to be. I've lived with parents who occasionally despised each other and forgot about me. I wasn't important. I have learnt to close off all feelings from those close to me. Only Luke was able to bring me out of that isolated shell of mine."

"How?" She sat opposite Jaina, curiosity got the better of her.

Jaina rolled her eyes. "The same with you. He taught you to be who you should be. With the Force."

"He has," spoke Rey softly. "He has shown me things I did not know I could do. I got off Jakku for the first time since I was a child. I was left behind by my family and I hoped they would come back for me. They never did."

"Jakku? That junkyard?"

Rey laughed, "your father said that. It was the Falcon that got me off that planet."

"What was it doing there?" Jaina laughed. It was the first genuine smile Rey had seen from her.

"I stole it from Unkar Plutt. He stole it from the Irving Boys, who stole it from Ducain. Ducain stole it from Han." Proud of her achievement to steal the Millennium Falcon.

"Ducain, that idiot. I told father to check the Western Reaches." Throwing the last of her bread on her plate. A sadness crept over her. "My father… Did you..."

"See it?" Rey nodded glumly. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have stopped it. He was a good man. He offered me a place on his crew."

Jaina gave a small smile. Just one side turning upwards slightly. "He was good like that. He knew potential in others. He was always offering me a place. But I'm too stubborn. I have a bounty on my head. Not as big as his but close." Pushing her plate away. "Go and rest. You deserve it. You are a good fighter, Rey. I wouldn't want to go up against you properly." Standing and leaving Rey alone. A slight friendship growing between the two of them. Rey could tell that Jaina was keeping herself locked away from that sort of thing. Both women were alike. Afraid to grow attached to something on the fear of losing that person or thing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

There was a place near to the hanger that had become a meditating point for the Jedis. Particularly a hideout for Jaina. It was a clearing that overlooked the resistance's base. She had found it by chance the day after her first training with Luke. They had had yet another argument. He wanted to train her extra hours. He had said she was close to being a Jedi Master. But she retorted with she was more a Jedi Master than he was. She did not mean it but he was frustrating her and she wanted him to see her for who she was and not what she could be.

This was why she did not want to be discovered. She did not want to be pushed into being someone who she wasn't supposed to be. Jaina wanted to be a pilot. She wanted to be like her father. Travel the galaxies and live out of her ship. Not caring about anybody but herself. "I should not have come back." She sat with her legs crossed and her eyes on the sky, watching ships come and go. The urge to leave had returned to her and the urge to return to her previous life. How could she now? She was too involved with everything.

"Who are you avoiding today? Your mother or your uncle?"

"Poe." Jumping when he spoke. "How did you find me?"

"I saw you." He took a seat next to her. "You are very quick at disappearing."

"Old habit." Shrugging one shoulder and looking out at the landscape before her. "My father said I was nightmare as a child. One minute I was there. The next minute I was gone. Chewie always used to be able to find me."

"The big hairy thing?"

She shook her head. "Don't ever let him hear you call him that. He'll rip you in half. He's a Wookie. A protective one at that. Especially of me."

He smiled and reached over to hold her hand. Jaina pulled away quickly. "What?"

"I shouldn't. I need to have a clear mind." Avoiding looking at him. "I..."

Poe stood up, knowing there was no point arguing with her. "Don't worry. I won't bother you. I know it is forbidden for Jedi to have relationships."

"Poe..." She protested and pulled herself to her feet. "It's not that. Soon I will be going to find my brother and I will have to fight him." Following him back towards the path. "Poe… Please, listen to me. There is an explanation." She pushed around him, stopping him from continuing any further. "Listen." When he gave no word and did not move, she knew that was a hint to carry on talking. "I want this. I do. I have never felt this way for anyone."

He tipped his head slightly to the right, trying to process what she meant. "Never?"

"I thought I did. Once."

"Jagged Fel."

She nodded and looked down at her feet, shifting her weight between them. "I was just a girl. I thought I loved him. I thought he loved me. It was not meant to be."

"What happened?"

"I was 17. I think. It seems like an age ago. We…" She blushed in embarrassment. "We had sex. I was stupid and naïve. I thought he would ask me to marry him. He left and never came back. Married another girl. I hit him the next time I saw him." Laughing at the memory of it. "It wasn't a girlie hit. Full on punch."

Poe tried to contain his laughter but he had to let it out. "Well done."

"I would have done more but his father was there to visit my uncle. His father actually shook my hand and I said I did the right thing." She shook her head and laughed at the memory. "Jagged is a ladies' man. I thought it was different. I thought I was different." Rolling her eyes with a shake of her head. "I did like him but after that, I knew I couldn't open myself up to someone like him again. I couldn't risk getting hurt again."

He cupped her face in his large hands. "I would never do that to you."

Her eyes fluttered closed as he touched her tenderly. "I know," her voice barely a whisper. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"What do you mean?" Removing his hands from her face and taking her hands in his. Needing to touch her. Needing to make sure she did not run away. "Jaina?"

"I'm falling for you. I shouldn't. I am not meant to but I am. No," she stopped him before he could speak. "I am a Jedi. I am not allowed to love. But I can't help it. I don't want to break your heart. My heart." Bringing his hands to her lips, her kiss lingering for a moment. "I don't want to lose you."

Tucking a finger under her chin and tipping her head up to face him. "I need you."

Shaking her head in defiance. "Please no. I can't."

He ignored all protests from her and kissed her. He needed her to stop thinking. To stop worrying about the future for the moment. "Stop it." His voice muffled from the kiss. "I need you to stop." Pressing his forehead to hers. "I need you to stop thinking just for a moment. Let's just talk."

* * *

"Have you seen Jaina? She is needed for training." Luke asked his sister, who stood outside, staring up at the clearing.

"Up there. She's meditating." Nodding in the direction of Jaina and Poe.

"She's not. She's with someone. That pilot."

"That pilot makes her happy. It's what I want for her." Folding her arms and turning away from the distance scene. "Leave her alone, Luke."

"She needs to finish her training."

"She needs a life, Luke. I have watched the last few days and see how you are with her. You push to the point where she could even turn on you."

Luke froze in place. He had been about to go on the trek up to Jaina. "What?"

"We all drove Ben away. Jaina was the only one who saw it. Don't do it to her. Don't push beyond what she can do." Putting a hand on her brother's arm. "The old Jedi laws caused our father to turn to the dark side and our mother to die. Let us not make the same mistake with Jaina. I can't lose her too. I won't."

"Leia..."

She cut him off, "no. Don't." Her eyes on her daughter, who seemed to be embracing her partner. "Just don't."

* * *

"You need to be strong. This will be a greater test than any you have ever had to face. Your own sister."

"She means nothing to me," sneered Kylo Ren, who was knelt before his master.

"I felt the shift in the Force. She is regaining her full strength. If you are not careful, she will have the ability to defeat you." His gaze fixed on his apprentice, studying him. "You are afraid of her."

Kylo Ren remained silent. Thinking of his words carefully. Afraid of his master and his punishments. "I am. Afraid of what she can do."

"Good. Fear will keep you strong. Let us continue before you return to your duties."

He got to his feet, raising his head to look up at his master.

* * *

For a good hour, the young couple had spoken for about anything and everything they could think of. Poe was doing it to distract Jaina from her current thoughts. "Stop thinking," he urged her, holding her to his side. Giving her that comfort she needed.

"I am not. I feel. I can feel his anger that I'm getting stronger. Angry because Rey is getting stronger." Resting her head onto his shoulder, needing that comfort and stability. "With that anger, he is becoming more and more dangerous and unstable."

"I understand. What are you planning?"

"Right now? I am planning on eating on my ship, hiding from my uncle and being with you." Giving a small smile. The smile not entirely reaching her eyes. "I don't know what to do, Poe. The big picture is scaring me."

He led her away from her meditation spot and slowly walked back towards the hangers. "What part of the big picture frightens you?"

"All of it in full. There are parts I do not understand. There are parts I do not want to happen."

"Like what?" He was curious but afraid of what she might say.

"My picture is in two halves." She pulled away from him and gestured with her hands. "One half," gesturing with her left hand and said, "there is light and life. I am alive and happy. Everything in the past never happened. My father is alive, my mother is not fighting him and my brother and I are happy. It's what I dream of and would love to happen. I know it will not."

"The other half?" He dared to ask the question but he knew the answer already.

"Death. Everyone dead." Tears built up in her eyes.

Poe took her in his arms. Not caring who saw them. They had reached the hangers and there were a lot of people around. Some noticed them but others too busy to even take notice that Poe Dameron and Jaina Solo were embracing. "Stop thinking that. It won't be like that."

"How do you know?" She sighed heavily. Annoyed with his answer. She knew that he was only trying to comfort her.

"I have faith." Stroking her back ever so gently. "In the resistance. In the Force. But more than anything; I have faith in you." He stood in front of her. Shielding her from those who had spotted them. "Your uncle is training you hard for a reason. He knows you have the power to defeat the Dark side. So does your brother. That is why he is angry."

Jaina pulled away and nodded in agreement. "I know. I know. But I don't want to. He's my brother. Despite everything. He is family. He killed my father but that was the Dark side. Not Ben." She ran her hand over her hair, flattening it. It was a comfort that she had done since she was a child. She stood in silence. Around her the resistance continued. She knew that if she disappeared the resistance would continue to fight. With or without her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Training for Jaina and Rey became more and more aggressive. They threw themselves into Luke's rigorous training as there had been more attacks on planets near to them. The First Order were getting closer. "We need to make ourselves known," Luke announced during training one day. "Take part in an operation."

"No," protested Jaina. "We cannot risk it." She stood on one leg, her eyes closed as she centred her energy and mindfulness. "Snoke and Ben will be expecting it from us."

"No, that's it. He won't be. He will be expecting us to lay low until the right moment." Rey spoke up. She was opposite Jaina and doing the exact same thing. The two of them were moving in synch. It was their training for the evening. It was meant to help them fight side by side. "I think Luke is right. We need to join one or two of the operations. Throw them off."

Jaina stopped. Two feet on the floor and eyes opening. "I don't think it is a good idea."

Rey stopped also. "Why not? If we are sensible, we can do it."

Jaina gave a sigh and stepped away from their training area. "I don't think so. Something is telling me that we shouldn't. Uncle, please. Consider the idea of it. It's dangerous."

"No. We will all take part in some missions." Luke spoke in a sincere tone. To stop them both arguing with him and each other. "Not one of us. All of us. Including myself."

"Uncle…" Jaina began to protest but a shake of his head was an attempt to silence her. "Fine!" She turned and stormed off. That famous temper flaring up.

"Where are you going? Get back here. You are not finished!" Luke's own temper rising inside him because of his defiant niece.

"Yes, I am!" She shouted back at him, still walking away.

* * *

"The First Order have doubled their attacks on planets that they think are helping the Resistance." Poe had recently returned from a mission. He had seen the full force of the First Order. "Their forces are getting stronger." He stood at the round table with many of the high-ranking officials of the Resistance.

"We need to attack more. Find their bases." Major Taslin Brance suggested hotly. "We need to fight back more often."

"We don't have the resources or the fighters," explained Leia.

The Major raised an eyebrow. "We have the Jedi."

"Three Jedi. It's not enough."

"Two." Jaina had just entered the room, taking up a place next to Caluan Ematt. "I am not going to be joining any of my Uncle's crazy schemes to fight when I am not ready. I am a pilot first."

Leia watched her daughter. Unsure whether to argue or actually agree with her. "Why is that, Jaina? Your training?"

Leaning on the table and she spoke calmly, "My training is going very well but it is the teacher. He is pushing me beyond my capabilities because he thinks Rey and I are the keys to defeating Snoke. I know we are not ready. But he is ready to put us into battle. We are not ready."

"What does Rey say?" Poe asked from his place. He had not taken his eyes off Jaina since she made her presence known.

Sighing heavily, "she agrees with Luke."

The room fell into silence. No one dared to speak. The Jedi were to be an important part of the Resistance but the First Order did not truly know how many of them there were. Snoke probably did know and no one wanted to say it out loud. "What do you want to do?" Poe asked.

"I want to fight. But not as a Jedi. I came here to fight in your squadron. I never wanted my identity to come to light. You know that." Looking to her mother, who was watching her daughter carefully. "Mother. I came here for comfort when father died. Not to fight. I left my Jedi life behind me when everything happened. I know I am training but I want to be a pilot first." The room was still. No one moved. Everyone hung on her every word. "Let me choose my course. That is what you have been saying to me since I was a child. Let me fly, Mother."

Leia rapped her fingers on the table. "Send for Luke. We will be in my office." Leaving the meeting. "Jaina, come."

"Yes mother." Walking around the table, only pausing next to Poe. "We will talk."

* * *

The two women waited patiently in the General's office. "He will argue. You know he will." Jaina was becoming less patient. When she arrived in the office, she just remained standing. A few minutes past and she was now lying on the sofa. Her patience wearing thin.

"I have to hear his side as well, Jaina. It is only fair." Her daughter gave a grunt of annoyance. "Jaina," warned Leia. "Your Uncle needs to give his side of the argument."

The door opened and finally Luke entered along with Rey. "Finally," muttered Jaina sitting up straight. "Mother called this meeting. Not me. I've made my point."

"Jaina!" Her mother scolded her once more. "That's enough." Jaina fell silent, not saying a word, only looking down at her hands. Feeling like a child again. "Let us get to the bottom of this. Jaina does not wish to fight as a Jedi but as a pilot. Luke, you are the opposite. You wish for her to fight as a Jedi."

"Yes," he nodded in response.

"I'm not even a Jedi," mumbling under her breath, avoiding any eye contact with anyone.

"Yet," added Luke. "You are nearly there, Jaina. It's your temper. That is what is holding you back."

Jaina had been about to bite back when Leia stopped her from even beginning her sentence, "Jaina, your uncle has a right to voice his opinion but you need to stop and listen." When Jaina said nothing, she continued, "Luke. What are your thoughts?"

Luke looked at his niece, who stared back. Her misdemeanour calm but he could feel that she was angry with him. "Calm down. I understand your feelings on being a pilot over a Jedi. You are very good pilot. But I need your skills as a Jedi more than a fighter pilot."

She shook her head defiantly. "I can't, Uncle. What you want to do is too dangerous. I can't let Ben find me."

"You are afraid of him." Rey spoke up from her place. She was only going to observe but she had notice Jaina's feelings.

"Of course, I am. Ben is unstable. He has been for a very long time." Her gaze flickering over to her mother, who, in turn, avoided looking at her daughter. "It's hard to understand."

Rey was studying her carefully and spoke what she discovered, "You blame your parents for Kylo Ren's turn to the Dark Side."

Jaina glared at Rey, "get out of my head!" Standing up and striding over to her. "How dare you?!"

Rey stood up and kept her ground. Not cowering from Jaina. "You are easy to read."

Her fists clenching at her side as she controlled her anger. "Get out of my head!"

The two women were face-to-face. "Sorry but you are showing your feelings too easily. That will be your downfall if you come up against Kylo Ren. You need to fight with us and help us with everything."

Jaina laughed coldly, shaking her head. "I will not." Turning on her heel and leaving the room. "I will not!" Her anger resonating as she stormed through the compound.

"Jaina!" Multiple voices called after her. But the stubborn young woman ignored them all.

* * *

Tension filled the air. The First Order were growing stronger with each passing minute. Attacks on the resistance were multiplying. So much that the resistance knew that they needed to leave the sanctuary of their own planet. D'Qar was no longer a safe haven. Jaina was torn even more. Running away for her own selfish reasons or staying to fight.


End file.
